*me, hooked up to my cybertoilet* computer, clean asshole.
computer
computer stop cleaning asshole
computer
computer stop
computer off
override
computer
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Morning washup, Moscow
Photo by Ivan Turukhano
This is both the most Slav and most cyberpunk thing I’ve seen today.
THE YEAR IS 2077, CYBERPUNK FUTURE
THIS GIRL BUSTS DOWN YOUR DOOR
“WUZ POPPIN PLAY🅱️OY, RETIRE SOME REPLICANTS WITH ME”
- NASA: We are humans, broadcasting to any life forms in the galaxy. We come in peace.
- Alien: Hey humans, you sound nice.
- NASA: Haha thanks. You should come over :)
- Alien: Uhhh, what? Our technology isn't advanced enough yet. But we can just talk for a while.
- NASA: Aww damn. SO what are you doing?
- ALien: Ummm, just like... operating our technology to contact you I guess? Translating your language?
- NASA: But what would you be doing if I was there haha ;)
me, a gamer, crying in the bar after my girlfriend dumped me: i’ve never been nerfed so hard before
my new gf: hey can we have an open and honest discussion about our relationship
me, a woke gamer: you got it babe, time for a patch release
me, crying while holding my newborn child in my arms: dlc
Does that make vaccines a lootcrate or what?
Fool you are, you shall never know the plight of a real gamer
Homeschooling = making the kid play with a console controller.
when someone asks to use your computer
Person 1: “Hey, can I look something up on your computer.”
Person 2: [calmly] “Yeah, just give me like one second.”
- me when my computer was new: *gives computer its own room, carefully places pillows around, NOT blocking the fans of course, cleans interior every weekend, reads it bedtime stories and kisses it goodnight*
- me now: *puts sandwich on main vent and listens to the crumbs bounce off my motherboard* yes. eat. grow strong like your father
- me when my computer was new: *gives computer its own room, carefully places pillows around, NOT blocking the fans of course, cleans interior every weekend, reads it bedtime stories and kisses it goodnight*
- me now: *puts sandwich on main vent and listens to the crumbs bounce off my motherboard* yes. eat. grow strong like your father
Even with all our technology and the inventions that make modern life so much easier than it once was, it takes just one big natural disaster to wipe all that away and remind us that, here on Earth, we’re still at the mercy of nature.
Neil DeGrasse Tyson (via galaxyclusters)